I am rifling through notes and false starts and contemplating extending stuff already considered finished. I am in pursuit of the last thing I did correctly, attempting to wring a little more solace from the successful completion of a job well done because even though it’s already provided a return on my investment, I am lately feeling that the the next last “i” dotting and “t” crossing won’t provide the same rush that one did. All my recent plans have had to be adapted in a way with which I am not comfortable leading to the throwing up of hands in a gesture of surrender I am unwilling to concede. I am acting like a diva as if my petty concerns were those of many, but am not hearing more than vocal dissatisfaction from any of my mates as they scurry and make enormous changes to be witness to the latest in a long line of paradigm shifts rather than relax at a beach or enjoy the gossip at a cousin’s wedding or just spend the days shopping. I have an opus to write without a fraction of an idea forthcoming. This fence-sitting is depressing the hell out of me, and I don’t give a good goddamn for paradigms shifting or remaining static since I cannot find an affordable escape ticket, but then...
© Michael D. Brown 2013
Originally posted at 6S Social Network
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