Death Knows No Mercy
My life, a delusion,
At least to me,
Was to him an experiment –
A plaything to mold and shape
To cut and create
Until the perfect woman stood
Ready and waiting to please him in every way.
Independent as I was
My subconscious rejected his ways
But as time is king in all games,
Eventually, I succumbed.
I lost my independence
Somewhere along the way
My head, oh my head, such things inside me said,
“Who are you to think you can be
Greater than he, your husband, your king?”
My imperfect thoughts
Of an imperfect me
Tore me down into the depths unseen.
Beauty and grace
Were no longer mine
At least not in his mind.
Anti-depressants did little to stymie
The tears falling, falling, falling.
Enough to fill a pond, a lake, or a river
My tears kept flowing steadily.
“You’re nothing, no one, and never will be.
Forget yourself.
Be one with what he needs you to be.”
Internal flames raged within
What was left of my soul
Tormented, afraid, and losing
To his mind game-minions from hell,
I could hear their voices
Chanting victory
While my blood turned cold.
Something died
Or maybe someone. My soul?
Nonetheless, something died indeed.
Empty
A shell, a robot,
Programmed for his pleasure.
Empty
But inside emptiness
Lurks
A creature
Much worse than that of a woman’s scorn
Something that thrives on emptiness,
Soul-less,
Destroyed,
In a shell.
My memories were lost in time.
Months drifted by
A haze-filled sky
Cloudy eyes
Sleepless nights
Alone
But still his perfect wife.
The thing lurking
I knew not
Sought control, crowned itself king
Over a carnage-strewn battlefield.
“Kill him,” it breathed
Into my dreams.
Possessed
By demons
Created them he,
That used my right hand
For their bidding –
A slash in the dark,
The rip of shared sheets,
The gurgling struggle,
A cry, “Help me.”
The devil within
Shifted seats as
My old self?
My soul?
Was resurrected with
Each stab into the heart of
The man who killed me.
© Coraline J. Thompson 2010
Coraline J. Thompson is a writing mother of two. Find more of her work online at Striking Writes.
Sensational writing, as I could Feel the Pain in your heart, as he tore at your very being ( both heart & soul), as you searched to be free. Great story , CJT.
ReplyDeleteVivid, personal writing that is both honest and vulnerable. When one person is made to buckle to another's will something's got to give.
ReplyDeleteMetaphorical murder; wow, there's a revenge twist.
ReplyDeleteExcellent strong and well written piece Caroline.
Exceptionally emotional, strong, and vivid. Your words, haunting in their reality, have an incredible impact on me, Coraline. This is, indeed, a powerful piece of poetry.
ReplyDeleteI think you hit on the basic truth that when you set out to change someone, you cannot control what/who they ultimately become. Chilling!
ReplyDeleteLovely lilt and roll here, effortless and flowing so very well done.
ReplyDeleteCaroline, I believe this is the first poem I've read by you. I hope it won't be the last. Your emotions came through, like thunder.
ReplyDeleteA powerful prose poem that starts, continues, and ends without disappointing the reader!
ReplyDeleteThank you all for your wonderful comments, @ Jeanette, I was recently told that I should write a prose poem, and this is the first that I have written in about 8 or 9 years. I have avoided poetry for a reason, and to me poetry is very black and white, it either strikes a cord or it doesn't. If this is striking a cord, then that's just what I meant for it to do.
ReplyDeleteI struggle with poetry because I feel like I am exposing a part of my soul to be looked at, examined, and picked at. So folks, here is a piece of my soul, I'm glad you liked what you've seen.
Coraline, you remined us of how loneliness increases when you are lonely next to someone you loved. Wonder how many women dream of murder from time to time, or just a convenient heart attack?
ReplyDeleteThis is personal and powerful. Thanks for sharing your writing!
ReplyDeletePowerful title and prose, beautiful...
ReplyDeleteOustanding.
ReplyDeleteYes...outstanding! well done, Coraline.
ReplyDeletePowerful and frighteningly possible - and so very well expressed.
ReplyDeleteThis reads like being granted passage into your conflicted heart and soul. At times I feel you tell us more than we want to hear, but like a beautifully orchestrated accident, one can't look away. I only hope on a return visit you may be in a position to give us something humorous based on the turns your life surely deserves to take by that time, and the sooner the better. One of my favorite writers, who sometimes sets my teeth on edge and at others makes me smile in recognition of my own foibles.
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